The plaintiff’s name is Stella Knight.
You are not allowed to make things up like this at law
Her doctor’s name is Martin Grandoni.
The defense lawyer calls him “Grand Phony.”
I can’t tell if he knows what he is doing
The defense lawyer hates my client
She is far too beautiful, too sexy, made up and needy
She wants things. Money.
Her mother is also party to this lawsuit
Hair grows out of a witch’s mole on her chin
And she is not beautiful, though she once was.
She speaks with a heavy East European accent,
So the lawyer yells his questions at her,
As if speaking loudly helps people with accents
Better understand the Queen’s English.
Her mother’s favorite expression is “ballpark,”
As in response to the question,
“When is the last time you drove a car?”
“I would say a year or two, ballpark.”
“And how often and at what times would you go to the store?”
“Regular time, I would say,
time to time,
most of the time,
whatever,
Ballpark.”
I am convinced my clients’ testimony,
Which I of course find compelling,
Has not moved defense counsel,
Nor the insurer,
Not one inch or iota.
We are each paid to believe and to disbelieve
It is the way of the world.
Ballpark.