Other Writings

Captive

I arrive home from Africa on Monday morning at 2 A.M., drive down to the Bay to see and smell it, to feel it blow and tingle. There is a strange light low on the night horizon glowing to the North Northwest, maybe Boston.  The house itself is shocking in it’s level of disrepair and disorganization.  I take off my Maasai watch and I get down to work, mostly on my back, in bed, in my office.  The writer is in.  Also the lawyer.  And the lover.  Once or twice the lawn and garden care guy.  And, inevitably, the guy with foot-in-mouth disease.

I don’t leave the property until late Thursday afternoon – and then reluctantly – no car rides, no stores, no yoga, no phone. Glad I got home early given imminent PreTrial appearance date and obligations thereto.  Even glad I’m here for the finals of the home renovation experience.  Do a fair amount of straightening, laundry, floor sweeping, furniture moving, pissing off the crew.  Watering houseplants.  Measure out pills for the week.  Hang out my shingle: “The writer is in.”  Write.  Play at being the housekeeper.  Even cook.  Listen to a lot of music.  Don’t criticize myself. Clean things.  Organize and put away things.  Rest.  Spend a lot of time feeding the fire.  The house smells of smoke, incense, and paint.

I make cranberry lemon biscuits, cornbread, lemon-blueberry tea, pots and pots of coffee, Kenyan roast potatoes, and Zanzabarian sage merlot bean and potato stew with shallots and fresh garden kale.

Joy works.  It’s what she does in addition to making music and spending a little time with me, even though I trust she finds me precious, even adorable.

I start to work in the yard and on the gardens.  It feels so good to have clippers and a rake in my hand.  Start to clean and organize the shed.  Prepare witness lists and pretrial memoranda. 

Some times I talk to Joy about Africa.  But it is hard … and far away … and I’ve turned into a very here and now, present centered sort of fellow.  I haven't had a watch on for 5 days.  And it is "crazy" being home, although if i don't step outside the house i seem to be able to exert adequate stimulation control to stay grounded.